Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
