Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
