he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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