youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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