I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
