whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize