Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
