There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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