There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize