Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
