Don't you send me to vm
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
