At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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