But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
