I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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