HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
