I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
