the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just blew my weed a kiss
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
