dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Randomize
