Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
