were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
