Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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