The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i can't believe i had my finger in that
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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