He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
