They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize