Your tits are I can't wait for
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
The Olympian is in my bed
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