a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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