so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
