I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
