Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
