u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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