he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
