Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
