It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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