I need help removing her.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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