I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
How's work?
Spinning.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
