I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
