We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
