Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
