Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I have already put on my inside pants.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
