Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
