remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize