No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
be right there i have to get my cape
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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