Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
