I must be too annoying 4 u.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
