I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
