By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
