How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
