When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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