You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
