So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Randomize
