is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Is Oprah even human
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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