Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You are the jesus of drinking
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
