i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
