The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
