Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Randomize
