thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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