some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
