and she was petting her beer can
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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