Just cropdusted the office
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He? As in you personified your dick?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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