The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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