ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
