also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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