There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
