this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
