we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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