he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
