You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
