Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
