Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I enjoy the company of your penis
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